The Lost Gospel of Mother Mary
A story, a sermon, and some new art on my website
Dear Ones,
I was walking to the bank yesterday. It was bleak and dreary and started to rain just a bit. I noticed some RV’s parked along the road with Christmas lights. Here in West Berkeley, many of my neighbors live in RV’s or cars or tents. It all felt very sad and lost and cold. The outside neighborhood mirrored my insides. I have been hosting some grief and lostness. It’s like a deep, cold cavern of “something is missing here” in my solar plexus.
For a moment it felt crushing, the inner and outer lostness and loneliness, and then I remembered that I know what to do with this. I remembered that I can turn toward it, with reverence. I remembered that I could carry my own lostness like a baby, I could put a hand on the painful sensation and surround it with breath, kindness, and welcome. I remembered that I could be with it and care for it, and that would be enough for change to begin, once again.
In this brief remembering, it was as if this aching lostness became the center piece of the altar in my body, and as I breathed into it and welcomed it, the atmosphere within me began to tingle and brighten. And the day around me began to look and feel different, too. A softness and a sense of warm welcome began to bloom… for the lostness in me and in each person I met. There is still much to do about outer homeless, don’t get me wrong. And we are and we will continue to, as a community. But this inner turning toward is also vitally important. In fact, we can never resolve the struggle outside of us if we are running away from it within us.
In holding a revered place around my own lostness, I began to feel a sweetness again for us humans. For all we go through, for all we carry. For all we’ve survived, on too little. I remembered that in this moment, I need not fix anything, just care and attend…. and know that the whole of the universe is leaning in to listen and care at this altar.
I share this with you because the lostness is not mine alone. It’s ours. It’s a cloud of pain that’s part of our collective body in a society built on broken ways of relating. We see it around us, and when we are honest, many of us recognize we feel it in us. If you are feeling lost this season, it’s not a personal failing. If you can find the willingness to locate the location of the lost sensation in your body, and turn toward it and welcome it, something will shift (both inside you and around you). As you welcome and host the lostness and loneliness, you will be doing a kindness for all humans who struggle this time of year. With this small gesture, something begins to change.
I said I wasn't going to write this month, but in truth, I’ve missed you! And I decided I would share a sermon with you that I preached at Niels’ church last weekend, and add a link to some new art of my Art Shop website. I opened my computer and sat down to write you, what came out was this little story about welcoming lostness. I guess I’ll hit send in case it help anyone!
And below is the sermon I set out to share, the Lost Gospel of Mother Mary. Although you can tell I was preaching in a Christian Church, don’t think this isn’t for you if you aren’t Christian. Mary was a Jewish woman who became the mother of Christianity, and later she became the most revered Prophetess in Islam, in fact in the Koran a whole book is dedicated to her! She has also made mystical appearances down through the ages to people of various faith traditions, and no faith tradition. She is something of the Great Mother to all humanity. And this sure seems to be a moment when we need our mother.
If you love Mary like I do, you will be so happy to know that one of my favorite Mary paintings is now available in prints or on mugs or other household items on my Art Shop website. You can find her here. If you order her today, she’ll arrive perhaps by the New Year.
Whatever you are hosting in these days, know you are hosting the sensations for all of us. Thank you for treating your own soul with kindness and care. You are warming the atmosphere for all of us.
In love,
Rev. Angela
I tuned in to your sermon on Mary and the fact that we really don’t have even half of the wisdom she has for women and of course men and more. The grief as well💜